


The Best Hot Dog

by LinksLipsSinkShips



Category: Rhett & Link
Genre: Blowjobs, Food Porn, M/M, Sex, a whole lot of smut tbh, and by hot dog i mean rhett's dick, ass eating, bad hot dog puns, link eats a hot dog, or really more like food and porn, yeah i know it's on-brand for me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2019-06-01 12:42:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15143312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LinksLipsSinkShips/pseuds/LinksLipsSinkShips
Summary: After Rhett and Link try to figure out the best hot dog in an episode of GMM, Rhett can't get the image of Link's lips wrapped around a hot dog out of his mind. With a quick trip to the mythical kitchen, Rhett has everything he needs to remind Link what sausage he likes best... and let Link give his buns a little bit of attention, too.





	The Best Hot Dog

**Author's Note:**

  * For [shewasjustagirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shewasjustagirl/gifts).



Rhett couldn’t get the image out of his head, Link’s lips wrapped around a hot dog in the latest GMM episode. He looked so natural like that, and the expressions he gave anytime Rhett said something remotely sexual were priceless. It made Rhett want to work innuendo in even more, and he had, sticking it in any chance he got.

But that image, oh, that image, the way Link looked when he had a hot dog in his mouth. It was almost too much for Rhett, too tempting for him to keep focused on instead of work. So instead of working, Rhett opted not to. Without much word, he slipped out of the office they shared, setting his computer in sleep mode and walking away to the mythical kitchen.

He wasn’t sure, for a moment at least, if he was craving Link or another hot dog, but just one thought of Link, one thought of how he looked when he devoured a weiner, left Rhett half-hard and longing for that touch.

“Hey, Josh, got any leftover buns?” Rhett asked, as casually as he could manage despite the strain he felt in his jeans. “Or, you know, something bigger, like a brat bun or some sort of sausage bun?”

“Sure thing,” Josh said, rifling through the bags on the counter until he found one, a large bun capable of holding a relatively girthy sausage. “Does this work for you? Want me to toss some meat in there?”

That offer was tempting, too, but Rhett brushed it out of his mind, instead telling Josh he only needed the bun. Just as he was walking away from the kitchen, he turned back to Josh. “On second thought, you got any mustard and ketchup? I brought my own sausage from home. I just need the bun and condiments.” Josh grabbed what Rhett requested, passing it to him with a smile. It was as if he didn’t suspect anything was off about the meat Rhett had brought to the office.

In their workspace, Link was lost in his own world, completely focused on the things he was trying to get done. He skimmed through a script, absently stroking Jade’s fur, then reaching up to make edits and type for a couple of seconds, alter the jokes to be a little more natural to the style he and Rhett shared.

He didn’t even notice as Rhett stood on the other side of the room, stripping his pants and setting them aside, then kicking off his underwear. Rhett probably could have tripped, fallen, and cracked his head open and Link wouldn’t have looked up. Whenever his headphones were in, he forgot a world existed outside of what was in front of him and the sounds of Kendrick Lamar coming through the wires.

It took Rhett tapping him on the shoulder, startling Link out of his daze, to even get him to notice anything amiss in the office. “What?” Link said, then turned his head to get a face full of Rhett’s bare ass right next to him. “What the crap, Rhett?”

“I just needed an opinion,” Rhett started. “You got really up close and personal with a lot of buns on the episode, and I’m feeling a little neglected. I wanted to know if you still like my buns best.” Rhett glanced over his shoulder, looking at Link with a grin, his cheeks peeking over his beard all blushy.

“Gosh, Rhett,” Link breathed. “What if someone walks in?”

“Door’s locked,” Rhett said. “You didn’t answer my question, man. Are my buns still your favorite?”

Link grinned and reached up, giving Rhett’s ass a squeeze with his hand. “Hmm. They’re soft, so that’s a positive. I like a good, soft bun.” Rhett chuckled at the way Link’s fingers tickled as they grazed his skin after, then he jumped at the startling smack Link gave it. “Ooh, but still nice and firm. Perfect blend, it seems like, soft, yet firm.”

“So you like my buns?” Rhett asked again.

“I do like your buns,” Link confirmed.

“What do you like more, Link?” Rhett asked. “My buns…” Then, Rhett turned, revealing his own personal sausage, wrapped in the bun Josh had given him, drizzled with ketchup and mustard. “...or my weiner?”

Link couldn’t help but burst out into laughter. It was easily the most ridiculous sight he’d ever laid eyes on. His best friend, his lover, his partner in life, standing there in the middle of their shared office, his special hot dog decked out in all of the usual toppings. They were known for making each other laugh, but this took it to a new level.

“Well?” Rhett asked, mock impatience written all over his face.

“Hard to tell,” Link said, swiping the ketchup with his finger and licking it off. “I think I may need to experience both.” He reached his hands around Rhett, squeezing his ass again. “Can I really make a decision if I haven’t gotten to taste them? See how they stack up?”

“Guess not,” Rhett said. “That mean you’re going to taste them both, then?” He was already hard, but it was impossible not to grow harder with anticipation, his length throbbing for Link’s touch as he held the bun in place.

“I don’t think I have another choice if I’m supposed to rank them, buddroll” Link shook his head at the ridiculous lengths Rhett was going to for a blowjob. “Come on, bring that weiner here for me.” Link guided Rhett forward, Rhett’s hand still on his bun, holding his bratwurst in place on full display for Link. Link turned his head to one side, then the other, trying to figure out how to attack the present situation. “I think,” Link said, wrapping his hand under Rhett’s, the way they’d done when sharing the hot dogs in the episode, “we’re going to have to get rid of this bun. After all, I’ve got some other buns to eat later, don’t I?” He moved Rhett’s hand, sliding the bun off of Rhett’s thick sausage, discarding it as he returned his hand to Rhett’s now-unsheathed frankfurter.

“That’s better,” Rhett said, relaxing into things as Link leaned forward, using his hand to guide Rhett into his mouth as though his length were  _ actually _ a hot dog. He lapped at the ketchup and mustard, wrapping his tongue around Rhett’s bratwurst and stroking him with his tongue that way. “Oh gosh,” he groaned, his legs going weak as Link sucked on the tip, then plunged Rhett into his mouth.

“Now this is the kind of hot dog I’ve been waiting all day for,” Link said, pulling off with a sucking  _ pop  _ and looking up into Rhett’s eyes. “I know I said I couldn’t eat anymore, but this… this I’ll make an exception for,” Link groaned, taking Rhett deeper again, gagging on it.

Rhett teased his fingers through Link’s hair, pulling on the silvery strands to get Link to stay put, swallow against the sensitive skin there, and Link did. The saliva that pooled around Link’s lips did little to wipe away the ketchup and mustard streaked across his face, and Rhett took his thumb, swiping at it to try to remove it to no avail. It didn’t matter. Link was so focused on devouring Rhett’s sausage, so focused on the art of pulling Rhett deeper into his spell, that a little ketchup and mustard couldn’t stop him. Link pulled back, sucking on the tip like a lollipop, his eyes watering from pulling Rhett deep again and again, forcing Rhett to fuck his face.

“Gosh, Link,” Rhett said. “I’m pretty sure you’ve made up your mind… the hot dog seems to be winning out.”

“Only because you haven’t let me taste the buns,” Link said, placing his hands firmly on Rhett’s hips and turning him around, pushing Rhett down across his desk. Link’s face was still smeared with ketchup and mustard, and Rhett’s hot dog was coated with the yellow-red mixture, streaking a stack of papers on Link’s desk with the colorful mess. Link didn’t seem to even notice as he spread Rhett’s buns apart, seeking what rested between them, soothing his tongue over the sensitive skin. He leaned back just enough to mutter “Gosh, that’s pretty amazing, too.”

He surprised Rhett with a sharp bite on the ass, leaving Rhett to yelp and raise up off of the desk slightly.

“You can’t fault me for wanting a bite,” Link said, returning to where he’d been as he lapped at Rhett’s skin, pressing his tongue against Rhett’s entrance and sliding it inside. He thrust forward, in and out of Rhett, listening to the moans it elicited from his best friend. His face was now almost clown-like, Rhett’s cheeks painting the ketchup and mustard that had been there across the cheeks on Link’s face, spreading the mixture all over their skin as Link spread Rhett’s buns again.

Link knew they were already both a mess, knew that they were minutes away from adding another special sauce to the mixture. Link left his tongue to do the bulk of the work as Rhett groaned, whimpering and writhing at the contact. His body was moving uncontrollably, twisting and moving at each press of Link’s tongue into him. Link knew he was close, could tell by each breath and pant, each whine and moan, and he urged Rhett toward release by wrapping his hand around Rhett’s juicy sausage, stroking him and pulling him to release. Rhett’s breath was ragged and his legs shook at each caress, the mustard and ketchup acting as lubricant for their in-office hookup.

“Link, I might… gosh…” Rhett breathed, pleading for Link to finish him, begging him not to stop. “Please, oh babe, oh…” he whined.

“Yeah, Rhett? You going to come for me?” Link asked, feeling the way Rhett’s body shook under his touch, loving the control he had of Rhett’s pleasure. He knew Rhett didn’t want him to stop, and any other time he might have drawn things out a little bit, left Rhett on edge, but they were at work and already far too distracted by this to be entirely productive. So Link pushed forward, giving Rhett what he wanted, a few sloppy licks across the crease in his buns, the sensitive spots that made Rhett quiver. But then Link thought better of it, knowing they’d wasted that much time and they could easily stand to waste a little bit more.

He released Rhett, pulling a whine from Rhett’s lips. “No, Link, please, don’t stop,” Rhett begged. “I need… oh… I need it…”

“Come on, I’m not going to pass up the opportunity to put my hot dog between your buns, Rhett,” Link commanded, standing to unzip his jeans and giving himself a quick stroke, already hard at the thought and everything they’d been doing. He tapped his cock against Rhett’s buns, sliding it into the crevice. “Gosh, yeah, that looks really nice,” Link said. “I’m really  _ relishing  _ the view.”

“Seriously, Link?” Rhett groaned. He was close to exploding, begging for a release, and Link was torturing him with bad puns instead of fucking him over the desk.

“You walk in here with your dick in a hot dog bun and expect me not to make a condiment pun? Be glad I didn’t ask if you had any condom-ents for protection,” Link muttered, then pulled Rhett up, turning his head for a quick kiss. “Come on, bend back over and let me fuck you,” Link promised.

It didn’t take much, the mere act of Link sliding into him, to make Rhett come onto the papers beneath him. Link took his time, though, pushing into Rhett again and again as Rhett reached behind him, pulling Link deeper. Link had already drawn himself so close by teasing Rhett, and the way Rhett’s ass clenched around him, the way Rhett came unglued on the desk, it all left Link chasing his own release, pressing his body to Rhett’s as he spilled into him, running his hands along Rhett’s back, rucking up his shirt. “God, you turn me on so much,” Link mumbled against Rhett’s body. “Even when you’re being a complete idiot.”

“An idiot?” Rhett asked. Neither of them had made an effort to move yet, Link still collapsed over Rhett.

“You couldn’t have just asked for a blowjob,” Link said. “You had to come in here and make a literal sausage-fest of the situation.”

“It made you laugh,” Rhett countered, then felt Link chuckle against him before standing, lifting off of Rhett’s body. Rhett stood, too. “Oops.”

“Oh gosh,” Link looked down at the stack of papers on the desk, a set of forms he and Rhett needed to sign for an upcoming book deal. He plucked them off of the desk, watching as ketchup, mustard, and Rhett’s come dripped off of them and onto the floor below. “Well, I guess I’ll say the forms got lost and we need a new set.” Link chucked them into the wastebasket under his desk.

“Do it later,” Rhett yawned, using some napkins from an old carryout order to clean his dick off, then watched as Link eyed himself in the reflection of a framed Merle Haggard record to wipe his face clean. “I’m thinking we need some time in the nap loft.”  
  
Link had to agree. He was exhausted and ready to doze off himself. “Okay,” Link said. “But next time, let  _ me  _ be the food. I’ve got more practice.”

**Author's Note:**

> For Shewasjustagirl, because sometimes I send her the most ridiculous texts and she agrees they need to be fics. Even things like this.


End file.
